Now I know that the birth of a baby is supposed to be a miraculous and heart-warming event, but Jim Bob Duggar and his super-ovaried wife Michelle just welcomed their 19th child. That's 19 more children than I ever wanted and yet somehow, after reading the article about their latest arrival, I started to hear the creak and groan of my biological clock trying its GD best to tick. At first I didn't realize what the heck was going on, because anytime you get me near a child, the only sounds I hear are those of my eyes rolling and the ringing associated with the blood pressure rising in my ears. But one night recently, having found myself bored and drunk, I decided to watch "19 Kids and Counting" on TLC. After taking in the show, I must admit that...my tune didn't change. Not one bit.
Every time the parents were trying to talk to the camera, all I could hear in the background were screaming and wailing kids causing a ruckus. As I sat there drinking my 19th beer and counting, I was perplexed to see how well Jim Bob keeps himself composed as his house seems to be rumbling around him with his offspring's activity.
Understand – these people have to take a bus everywhere they go. The little girls wear hand-stitched compound dresses that I assume have pantaloons underneath. I couldn't stop my sinful and drunken mind from wondering just when in the heck these two have time to pork. But apparently they do - a lot - leading TLC to recently give up and change the title of the show to "The Fantastic Sex Lives of Jim Bob Billy and Fertile Myrtle."
Ambz the Ripper
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