Lady Gaga - Phone Home

After watching the Grammys last night, I’ve decided that Lady Gaga is an alien. And not a benevolent one, either. Clearly she has an unjust agenda to hinder the view of Grammy spectators everywhere. I mean, look at the poor guy seated a few rows behind her. His facial expression is all, “Madam, would you kindly remove your hat because I can’t bleepin’ see.”

I understand that entertainers are supposed to be a little more wacky and newfangled than the rest of us, but dressing as if you’re a Star Trek character that wound up on the cutting room floor because it was too over the top isn’t the way to go.

Lady Gaga simply looks ridiculous and her wardrobe theatrics is clearly a cry for somebody (ANYBODY) to look at her. Well, mission accomplished Lady Gaga. Now would you please return to your home planet of Borgsmack and resume your odd and off-putting life amongst your own kind?

I always thought I’d be one of the more accepting people on Earth when it came to an alien visitation to our planet, but I also assumed the visitor would come promoting peace – not an attention-whoring jamboree. After all, didn’t we just manage to rid ourselves of Paris Hilton?

Ambz the Ripper